Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Blame It On The Spring

I blame Spring. For what, you ask?

I've "reactivated" my online dating accounts.

But this is not a good thing. I've already posted about the problem with such "goal based" dating endeavors: the inherent expectations. I'm not actually ready to be in a relationship, as evidenced by the fact that I still cringe at the word "penis." Although, the other day when I was mindlessly surfing online, I stumbled on a tattoo art site. I admired a tattoo of a lotus and an "Om" symbol that was tattooed on the back of some celebrity's neck, and then came across a picture of a naked man with a tattoo that ran from his lower abs down one thigh. I immediately flinched and looked away, but then I looked back and studied the picture and tilted my head to one side like a dog hearing a high pitched noise for the first time and said to myself, "Huh. I remember those. Don't remember what they're good for, but... huh." Keep in mind that it wasn't a particularly exceptional specimen - the man or the penis - but, whatever.

And then I immediately emailed the picture to AM since I know she's probably forgotten what they look like as well.

I talked to Gorgeous Hunk 'O Man (JF) this morning and shared this with him. It's really too bad that he lives so far away. Because with him, I actually have the relationship (minus the geographic undesirability) that I want with a man: someone brilliant and gorgeous with whom I can engage in an orgy of mutual appreciation for our respective physical and intangible qualities, AND he has no interest in showing me his penis.

He did (gently) tell me that I should meet someone with whom sex isn't a nausea-inspiring prospect.

Yeah yeah yeah.

I think the next time I feel that I need to be reminded of what a penis looks like, I'll just make JF email me a picture of his. I know AM would appreciate that too.

1 comment:

Susanna Seoul Searching said...

Maybe you should start of easy with watching halfnaked men do martial art?
I will keep that in mind! Though I'm a bit afraid surviving you suger maming me...Not to mention the pictures and videos you would take to document it. Even so, seeing you would be worth any emberessment or hangover or almost anything else!
I hope you get some storms of your own, they clean everything up!