"A homeless man on my train just gave some change to another homeless man."
She just called me to discuss. We wept.
But now we are both thinking that the two of them were in cahoots.
I feel played. I don't like it.
"For some reason this holiday season feels so much more stressful and melancholy than last. I could kick scrooge's ass right now."
Christmas 2005: Rather than returning to Beijing after my trip to Bhutan with WC, I had escaped for some alone-time to the Banyan Tree Spa in Bangkok.
Christmas 2006: I was with my parents, which was lovely, but the Sociopathic Alcoholic had apparently set a timer to remind himself to send me nasty emails and text messages every hour accusing me of being with other men. Perhaps in a couple lifetimes from now I'll look back on it and be flattered at his estimation of my man-attracting skills.
Christmas 2007: I was with my parents, but this time, my email and phone were wonderfully silent.
Christmas 2008: I will be with my parents, and will bring home two "strays": MG and EA, who will join us for Christmas Eve dinner.
GC from Beijing in April
MM from Tokyo in May
EH from Beijing in June
MB from Hong Kong In July
LW from Hong Kong in September
HM from Tokyo in September
FC from Beijing in November
SL from Hong Kong in December
KF and her husband from Beijing in December
"With most endeavors, having a clearly identified goal is necessary, or at the very least, helpful in achieving that goal. But with dating..., can being "goal-oriented" hinder rather than help?"
It turns out that everything is the opposite of what I remember. Under the old model, you dated a few times and, if you really liked the person, you might consider having sex. Under the new model, you hook up a few times and, if you really like the person, you might consider going on a date.
People can go to your business website to figure out what to buy for you. And if they want to figure out what you are thinking, they can go to your blog. So really, when you actually start dating someone again some day, you guys never have to actually TALK. Unless he wants to talk about himself, in which case, you wouldn't really be paying attention anyway. So you guys can just have sex all the time.
Patience: an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.
Fortitude: mental and emotional strength in facing difficulty, adversity, danger, or temptation courageously.
"Unthinkably good things can happen, even late in the game."
- from Under The Tuscan Sky
"The dedicated merchant page, that link, pissing me off. Now or later?"Imagine that all day long.
"First yes, second no"
Me: If I could figure out how to smuggle in a webcam, I'd do that too
Me: I just hope he isn't thinking he's going to show me his penis
JF: there's a webcam moment for you
JF: you shrieking as he waves it around
Me: oh god. I hope it doesn't come to that.
Me: the penis needs to stay under wraps.
Me: but I think I'll be ok. unless he mails it to me
Me: just saw something on TV where body parts were mailed around
Me: would be an unpleasant package to receive
JF: very silence of the lambs
JF: you'd for sure be drunk when you open it
JF: and sort of stare at it for a while
JF: then just start shrieking with laughter
Me: and then stuff it and mount it over my bed?
Me: (after poking at it with one finger to make sure it doesn't move)
JF: see, this is why i love you
JF: because you are WRONG
A middle-aged British politician (Jeremy Irons, looking and sounding alarmingly like Boris Karloff) falls in love with his son's girlfriend, a mysterious half-French beauty (Juliette Binoche). The screenplay-by David Hare, from Josephine Hart's sensationally stupid best-seller-aims to create a sense of tragic inevitability out of a banal infidelity story: what it achieves is lethal predictability. For almost two hours, the movie alternates joyless, desperate (but tastefully lit) couplings with painfully awkward family gatherings; then somebody dies and everybody's sad and it's over. Director Louis Malle has played artistic sugar daddy to Hart's shallow little novel-provided a lavishly appointed flat for a story that isn't worth a cheap motel room. Also with Miranda Richardson (who is dreadful), Rupert Graves, Ian Bannen, and Leslie Caron.
-T.R. -Terrence Rafferty
Copyright © 2006 The New Yorker
"I've always felt that a happy sex life kills a person's sense of humor about himself remarkably quickly."
- Stephen McCauley
1. Sex is not an ATM withdrawalIt occurs to me that these principles apply equally well to having sex. Not that I remember sex, but I think there's a certain fungibility there. And since I'm supposed to have sex next month, I've been reading this how-to-write-sex book and thinking about how it applies to having it.
2. Hire a decorator
3. Your characters don't have to speak to each other, but don't forget that they can
4. You need not be explicit, but you must be specific
5. Surprise me
Without feelings, inventions, moods, [there are] no surprises in bed. Sex must be mixed with tears, laughter, words, promises, scenes, jealousy, envy, all the spices of fear, foreign travel, new faces, novels, stories, dreams, fantasies, music, dancing, opium, wine.
On Nov 5, 2008, at 11:51 AM, PD wrote:------------------------------------------
So I take it we're not having dinner on December 7th?
On Wed, Nov 5, 2008 at 12:16 PM, C-Belle wrote:
Oh wait. You must have read my blog. *LAUGHING*
On Nov 5, 2008, at 12:26 PM, PD wrote:
Yeah, figured it was a question best asked privately, in case you wanted to tell me that you were planning an *extra-special* dinner for us that night, wink, wink...
On Wed, Nov 5, 2008 at 12:28 PM, C-Belle wrote:
"And now for dessert.... ta da!"
They found a dead guy on the toilet in the men's room at work today. Had a heart attack trying to poop.
Sent from my wireless Blackberry Handheld Device
EA: I’m so over hauling my ass across state lines (or multiple state lines) for nookie.
MM: I'd haul my cookies across state lines for quality nookie. Hmm okay let me qualify my statement. I'd haul my cookies across state lines for the following:-seriously quality nookie
-a lovely meal (prepared FOR me, not BY me)
-a hot bath drawn for me, preferably in a jacuzzi tub, with candles
-i'm flex on what the candles smell like
-i expect multiple episodes of aforementioned quality nookie
-and more of it in the morning
-followed by a shower in which my hair is washed for me
-coffee delivered bedside is a lovely, lovely thing
-so is fresh-squeezed juice, although that is far from required
-and if there's another round of nookie? and I need a second shower? yeah, whatever
"You like horses? So do I!""You like to sing? So do I!""You do yoga? So do I!"
Great loves too must be endured.
1. a salon/spa
2. a bookstore
3. a restaurant/bar
From: Delusional Stalker
Date: July 31, 2008 04:57:07 PM EDT
Sitting in Atlanta
Flight so, so very delayed
Was in Chicago last night
There was a moleskine notebook for sale in my little honor bar
Thought of you of course
But I pretty much always think of you
~ Placed at the end of a sentence, the 'pedal point' signifies a thought that dissolves into a suggestive silence. The pedal point is distinguished from the ellipsis and the dash in that the thought it follows is neither incomplete nor interrupted but an outstretched hand. My younger brother uses these a lot with me, probably because he, of all the members of my family, is the one most capable of telling me what he needs to tell me without having to say it.... Very often he will say, 'Jonathan~' and I will say, 'I know.'I'll postpone my review until I've read more of it, but what I can immediately say I like is the cross marketing, of sorts. While the inclusion of the book falls more in the category of branding activity - branding Aesop as a smart, intellectual, and hence quirky skincare line, there are shadows of the beginnings of cross and integrated marketing going on.
On the Sly, Your Direct Line to Voicemail
A true man about town always cultivates an air of unavailability.
Drawn-out phone calls, getting caught on the line with a "talker," emoting—these are situations that must be avoided at all costs. So allow us to quietly point out a new hush-hush operation that lets you skirt conversations.
Introducing Slydial, a service that allows you to discreetly send a voicemail without actually making a call, and the latest phone gadget in your ample bag of tricks.
The possibilities are limitless, especially if you're familiar with the seductive game of phone tag. Sometimes a check-in is required, but a voice-to-voice encounter will only add drama to a situation that would do better as a slow simmer. Instead of calling directly, call Slydial first and then dial the number. They'll route you straight through to voicemail, where you're free to communicate your unavailability as sympathetically as you can, without fear of a prolonged discussion.
Of course, the service isn't perfect quite yet, and your tag partner may get a "phantom call" when you ring them up (meaning your number will come up on their phone), but it's nothing you can't blame on phone company shenanigans. And when you're finished, you can use the same trick to get out of next week's meeting without getting caught up in too much conversation.
As always, leave them wanting more.
"...a river, suffering because reflections of clouds and trees are not clouds and trees."
- Czesław Miłosz
From: Delusional Stalker
Date: July 27, 2008 6:10:34 PM EDT
Can I ax you a personal question?
From: Delusion Stalker
Date: July 28, 2008 7:21:34 AM EDT
I was just going to ask if you're seeing someone. Since it's been about a year since we were last connected in any way, it seems likely that you are. I suppose I've been in denial of that. If you are, or have been, please let me know. Thanks.
From: Delusional Stalker
Date: July 28, 2008 8:55:53 AM EDT
I know it's none of my business but I would appreciate knowing because obviously I've made myself completely available to you emotionally in the hopes of some sort of relationship and if I'm just one of many options then I need to know that now---------------------------------------------------------