Monday, September 29, 2008

Is Your Bottom Recognizable?

Not unlike my Dwarf Meyer Lemon Tree, my blog has been suffering from neglect.  But I thought I'd begin to address that with this quick little story, courtesy of MM:

Bank robber foiled by her bum

An alleged bank robber was busted in Germany after a witness identified her by her ‘unforgettable’ backside.

Police say Sandra Meiser raided a bank in the town of Norf south of Düsseldorf. She threatened the bank staff with a gun and got away with some 15,000 euros.

A witness to the attack said the woman had a‘very large’ backside and ‘powerful thighs’, reports website.

Weeks later one witness saw what he believed was the same bottom right in front of him in the queue in the very same branch. He called the police, who arrested the alleged criminal on the spot.

Police found a ski mask and a gun in Meiser’s jacket. She now faces up to 10 years in prison.

The 61-year-old witness was rewarded for his memory with a 5,000 euro cheque.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Girl Talk

Would you travel across multiple state lines for a little nookie?

This was the question posed during a recent girl talk session.

EA: I’m so over hauling my ass across state lines (or multiple state lines) for nookie.

MM: I'd haul my cookies across state lines for quality nookie. Hmm okay let me qualify my statement. I'd haul my cookies across state lines for the following:
-seriously quality nookie
-a lovely meal (prepared FOR me, not BY me)
-decent Champagne
-a hot bath drawn for me, preferably in a jacuzzi tub, with candles
-i'm flex on what the candles smell like
-i expect multiple episodes of aforementioned quality nookie
-and more of it in the morning
-followed by a shower in which my hair is washed for me
-coffee delivered bedside is a lovely, lovely thing
-so is fresh-squeezed juice, although that is far from required
-and if there's another round of nookie? and I need a second shower? yeah, whatever

Is this fantasy? Apparently not. After a quick poll, apparently there ARE men who draw hot baths for their women and place glasses of perfectly chilled white wine next to the tub, or leave hot coffee on the bedside table in the mornings...

Seems like fantasy to me.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Nausea? Must Be Love

A lifetime ago, I met a guy at a party, stole his drink right out of his hand, couldn't stop staring at his mouth, and for two weeks afterwards, felt nauseous and had a stomach ache.

I spoke to him again recently and promptly spent an hour afterwards on the phone with SK, throwing up in my kitchen sink.

SK's comment? "Nothing says 'love' like nausea."