Sunday, May 18, 2008

Online Dating=Online Shopping Part Deux

While browsing for men might be very similar to browsing for clothes/electronics/skin care products/etc., there is a very critical difference. (Well, arguably more than just ONE difference).

I hardly ever get emails from the things I might buy.

That cute little Ya-Ya top doesn't email me saying, "Hey gorgeous, let's hit the town together."

That slinky Norma Kamali dress doesn't write, "Don't you want to wrap my 100% modal goodness all over your sweet stuff?"

The scandalous Melissa Odabash halter bikini doesn't try to lure me in by sending me an email saying: "Slip into me, baby, and let's get wet together."

Although, now that I'm thinking about it, emails such as those would be delightful.

But if the online shopping 'verse were to follow the online dating paradigm, it would be the gnarly, over-sized, second-hand, too-shiny tracksuit that would be emailing me, and emailing me badly: "im shiny and comfortable and would like to see you nekkid."

But while I greatly enjoy mocking both the men who contact me and the emails they write, there is a another difference which I find... well... sad. Clothes are not lonely. They are perfectly happy sitting in the warehouse, or hanging on display. Skincare products do not feel that they are not living up to their full potential if they are not regularly used.

People, in contrast, are so lonely.

Online dating is an activity that should be done with a lightness of spirit. For any deeper needs... go online and buy a killer new outfit. Or a guitar, and learn to play it.

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