And this afternoon, I received the following text message from Gorgeous Hunk O'Man (JF):
Happy Mother's Day, ex-wife! I know you gave our baby away to the Scientologists, but still. I'm sure it loves you wherever it is!
I wrote in reply:
We know EXACTLY where our kid is. Haven't you ever wondered why Tom-Kat's baby, Suri, looks vaguely Asian, and why Katie was only pregnant for like, a week?!?