I had an interesting conversation the other day (about men, what else?) with my dear friend, RL.
(It does make me wonder what it is that men talk about. I suspect the primary topic is NOT women, but rather, themselves. So I suppose that means that EVERYONE just talks about men?)
RL is a new friend, so we are just getting to know each other, and using the topic of men as the jumping-off point.
I was going through my logic for why I am thinking of doing something (that involves a man) and RL interrupted me to say, "Oh dear god. You sound like a man. Worse, you sound like an Alpha Male."
I was surprised, because.. well... because I was using logic and going through an analysis of the pros and cons, which doesn't seem to be a very male kind of thing.
But I think RL was not commenting on my analysis, I think she was commenting more on what I was using my analysis to justify. RL believes wholeheartedly that a man's interest in and desire for a woman decreases dramatically if the hunt is taken out of his hands. This reminded me of a comment that Bartleby left on one of my posts: "The guy is an alpha male who prefers to hunt than be hunted."
I find this curious because I have initiated every step of every sexual/romantic relationship I have ever had with a man. I dislike being hunted, it creeps me out. If I want something "interesting" to happen, I will initiate it. And since I am about as subtle as a mac truck, I've never learned how to quietly manipulate a guy into doing what I want him to do, with him thinking that it is HIS idea. Although, I have idly considered from time to time if I should try to develop that skill.
But this makes me wonder... are there men who share my active dislike of being hunted? Who, like me, prefer to control the if and when (and whenever possible) the how? I have always believed that ALL men, if presented with someone they find attractive, will not care who plays the role of the hunter versus that of the hunted. As far as the male mind goes, I always believed that the ONLY question was whether or not they were attracted, and I never before spent anytime considering the possible ramifications of whether men are bifurcated into alphas and... what would be the opposite... betas?
Of course, the answer might be as simple as I do not like or date or have sex with Alpha Males.
Although RL has introduced a new wrinkle. What does it mean that, in my dating habits at least, I exhibit Alpha Male tendencies? 'Cause while I love cats, I can't abide pussies. (I LOVE how that is so fraught with different levels of meaning).
But I think Gorgeous Hunk O' Man (JF) had it right when he told me on Monday night, "Lover, despite all your girly bits and pieces, you are actually a gay man."
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