Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Turkey, Anyone?

When inviting a boy over for a food preparation activity, there are things one should be cognizant of regarding food choice. This is all theoretical for me since I am on a man fast, but I believe it has the ring of truth:

"Come over and we'll bake cookies": This is clearly an invitation for sex, and will be construed that way. Cookies are simple. If one cooks as I do, slicing a premade log of cookie dough doesn't require much time and leaves the evening free for other activities. If one actually makes the cookies from scratch (I've heard this sometimes happens), then the allure of simplicity still applies, only now there are opportunities to lick cookie dough from each other's fingers and so forth.

"Come over and we'll bake a pie": Pie just seems so complicated. And generally speaking, "crust" has no place in sex (sex with another person, not a la American Pie). So if one is at the pre-coital stage with a boy, pie is just pie. Pie baking is best leveraged as part of the post-coital, bonding phase.

"Come over and we'll cook a turkey": OK, that just means that a relationship is already fully underway and sex is only a distant memory.

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