Pelting Lemons

Because my African Violet has stepped back from death's precipice, I have taken that to mean my black thumb might merely be sickly grayish yellow in color. (I chose to ignore the fact that African Violets have a reputation for being very hardy plants that can weather through the most outrageous neglect).

I have also finally accepted the end of winter.

These two things have driven me to order a 2-3 year old Dwarf Improved Meyer Lemon Tree, suitable for growing indoors as a houseplant.

In preparation for the delivery of the tree, I have also purchased an assortment of rice hull flower pots (very eco-friendly while being minimal and elegant in design), bags of soil and fertilizer, and a meter to measure water saturation levels in soil.

However, I haven't the faintest notion about what to do with all the lemons that this tree is supposed to produce all year round. Lemons do not feature in my once-a-quarter cooking forays, except as the occasional garnish. And don't even mention lemonade to me.

I suspect my lemons will be quartered lengthwise and hanging off the lip of glassware, which is really their natural place in life anyway, at least when there aren't any limes around.

Additionally, I suppose I can lean out my window and pelt them down at the drunk straight men and offensively unattractive women who have been loitering outside my building ever since that ridiculous sports bar opened up on my street.