"It's the hair I was meant to have. Just cost me $700 to get it."
"That's the kind of idea that makes stupid ideas feel good about themselves."
"I was pissed at him, so I took the trackball out of his mouse."
OK, fine. The last one wasn't overheard. Unless you count me thinking to myself as "overhearing." Just thought it would be better to attribute all of the above to faceless, nameless strangers. But I'm fairly certain the mouse and trackball guy has no idea I even have a blog, so why the hell not 'fess up.