Overheard in Public Places

"There's a good chance that if I had met him in person, I would have had sex with him because he was just so irritating online..."

"I probably would have done him 'cause it's not like I'd have to see him again."

"He's perfect. Young, French, gorgeous, and leaving in two weeks."

"You know how some guys point to one side? Dude, it's a dick, not a divining rod."

"I'm sure his thingy has grown since he was nine. Otherwise he'd have been a really awkward nine-year-old."

"I do feel insecure about commas."