Never Forgiving The Unforgivable

In a valiant attempt to procrastinate packing for a business trip, I've been reading through my blog this morning - specifically, the entries from January 2008.

Over 3 years later, I am chagrined to note that not much has changed - I am still musing on topic of forgiveness. But maybe there has been some change... I reread this post from January 4th, 2008 (see below) and I realized that I had missed something very important from my reading of A Thousand Acres. True, Rose had stayed strong in not forgiving the unforgivable, but look at her life. She died alone and unhappy, and in her own words: "a failure." Forgiveness is not a gift we grant to others, but to ourselves. Trite, I know. But it's often all too easy to get lost in the maze of our own rationalizations to remember the fundamentals.

More Than Words Can Wield The Matter

As far as New Year's resolutions go, on the top of my list is to floss everyday. I also toyed around with the idea of forgiveness - forgiving myself and others.

Then I remember Jane Smiley's A Thousand Acres. When Rose is dying, she tells her older sister Ginny, that by any measure, she (Rose) is the failure of the family - dying, widowed, despised, in debt. But that despite all those outward signs of failure, she did succeed at something very important - she succeeded at staying strong and never forgiving the unforgivable.

I have a strong appreciation for the myriad shades of gray and I believe that truth remains truth even when altered by differing perspectives. I draw my lines in the sand and am happy to rub them away and re-draw them based on new understandings and sympathies.

But sometimes, you have to carve those lines into stone, and never waver. Because what's on the other side is simply not acceptable.