Practicality Versus Romance

With my latest Amazon order, I got a copy of Chopin's Complete Preludes, Nocturnes and Waltzes.

So instead of Bach, lately I've been playing Chopin. I wonder to what extent that has been contributing to my altered mood.

As per our norm, IC and I spent Friday together in my apartment working face to face rather than over phone and email. But this Friday, we were in a celebratory mood so we congratulated ourselves by getting pedicures and an early afternoon geishatini (a lovely concoction featuring fresh ginger and wasabi-flavored vodka). IC was curious as to what extent my man fast was still in place, so she peppered her conversation with the word "penis" to see how I would react. I still flinched, but I did allow that the thought of sitting across a table from a penis under wraps was ok. We agreed that this was progress.

A friend of mine drunk dialed me earlier this week. This is a friend I have always had a huge crush on but he lives in a different city. When I first met him, I was married, and now he is in a relationship. But that doesn't stop him from calling me every month or so, and it doesn't stop me from giggling wildly when his name shows up on my ringing phone. He was adorably incoherent over the phone and that plus the advent of spring and my playing Chopin, and my allowance that a penis under wraps was ok, got me thinking...

I've discussed this with my friends who have all said pretty much the same thing - differing only in their emphasis on the potential romantic slant on it - that I should act, if only to resolve the unresolved possibility and put the situation to bed, so to speak. But I have been, and am, hesitant. It's just not practical.

To what extent does practicality nullify romance?

While I recognize that deep down I have a strong romantic streak, the top layers of the onion that is my psyche are thoroughly drenched in practicality.

The people who find romance, is it because they are actively searching for it, and making decisions based on their search?

Are there people who are just simply more romantic than others?

To what extent is practicality just a more acceptable guise for cowardice?

Or is practicality just a necessary side effect of growing up?

Or are those the wrong questions altogether?

Perhaps it just comes down to this - that when practicality beats out romance, it speaks to a fundamental lack of readiness or lack of sufficient desire necessary to act on it.

I'm not sure. So until I figure it out, I will continue to play Chopin and let the universe sort out that issue on its own without any help from me.